My American Accent

My facial features distinctly look Viet. Once I open my mouth that image is shattered. I am Viet Kieu (Vietnamese Foreigner) with the look and blood of a Viet. My American accent fractures the Viet language into sometimes indistinguishable sounds.

The Viet language is soft, light, and tonal. The English language is hard, heavy, and flat. My parents grew up in the middle of Viet Nam in Quang Ngai, but they have also spent significant time in South Viet Nam where I was born. Consequently, my accent is a national compilation of awkward Viet Middle and South.

My words become dumbfounding torture to a number of the Viets. Some ignore the accent and talk to me like another Viet; thus creating a refreshing comfort zone and allowing me to speak freely with conspicuous mistakes. Others cannot recognize one Viet word that spews from my lips and gaze at me as an alien; thus creating an area of tension and leaving my lips paralyzed from inadequacy.

In the past, my language barrier with the Viet community in Minnesota created uneasiness within myself. I felt unable to interact with other Vietnamese youths without the sense of self-created unjustified shame and embarrassment. As a result my personalities under two cultures began to splinter. Under the American persona of Coo, I thrived and became energetic, personable, and open. In contrast, under the Vietnamese persona of Cuong outside of my home in the public eye, I remained unnaturally shy, quiet, and occasionally apprehensive.

Yet I surrounded myself with diversity to hide that scar. I celebrated cultural differences, knowing I was afraid to connect with my own people, but hoping to create relief within my own identity. That artificial hope led me to a black hole of ambivalence.

Now, I am here in Viet Nam to coalesce my competing personas and paradigms. Moreover, I am willing to be seen as an alien, Viet Kieu, and awkward in order to suture my splintered identity. I warmly embrace my American accent and I smile at my gazers because I am proud to be Vietnamese American.