I look good in VN Blue Jeans.

I’m 5 feet 4 inches and maybe 5 feet 5 inches on a good day when the earth’s gravitational pull is dampened. Thus, shopping in the good ol’ US of A plain SUCKS for me. Jeans hang off my legs scraping the bottom of my feet accumulating critters and dirt; buttoned-shirts drape my arms like curtains while covers my knees like a mu-mu; and gigantic belts wrap around my equator twice. So sometimes I sneak into the kid section and dress myself up with normal size clothes.

But here in VN, I am of average Vietnamese height. Thus clothes fit me like Dijon on a ham sandwich or maybe more like butter on toast. Anyway, clothes shopping for me in VN is heaven for its prices and size. Even if the clothes don’t fit, I can pay 50 cents to tailor it. Plus it’s got the trendy modern look to it and so I can proudly wear it back in the states.

With the incredible conversion rate of 15,780 Viet Dong to 1 USD, I can pay for:

• Fake Banana Republic Sandals: $5
• Fake Diesel Jeans: $15
• Trendy Dress Pants: $10
• Trendy Dress Shirt: $6
• Polo Type Shirt: $3
  

Of course, this is Miller high life spending because the average person would not be able to afford this wardrobe. I’m going to lock and load a closet full of clothes for 20 years to come.